[The nightmare begins the same each time; she walks through the mines.
What she sees is familiar, until everything shifts. The reality of what she went through distorts. The corpse of a girl whose blood is much too red and vivid changes until the body looks like Jason, like Percy, like Xion. All of these options are vastly worse than when it simply looked like her. She comes to a wall lined with mouths and suddenly there is Will Graham, and the walls have disappeared, there is no exit and she cannot move, she cannot scream, she can only watch as he moves forward and—
When she wakes, she can still see the white of teeth and the silver glint of a knife in the fading light of day. There's no scream, but there's a harsh intake of breath as she looks around, breathing hard and quickly, and tries to convince herself that what she's seeing is reality. Afterwards, she takes a few more shaky breaths, clenches and unclenches her fist to remind herself that her arm is still there, that she remains whole. She shifts until she sits on the edge of the bed, feet dangling off, and rubs at her face.]
[ Xion wasn't even asleep. Sleep is as hard for her now as it was back in that town, as it was at ... "home," though of course it's worse now in little ways. The nightmares are different. Darker, bloodier, more horrible. There are always heads. Bleeding heads with gaping mouths.
She's been curled up in bed staring at the ceiling, letting her thoughts drift and considering idly trying to sneak out to at least stretch her legs and get a glass of water. In fact, she was just starting to attempt that plan when she heard Natalie's intake of breath, and found her own lungs going still in her chest as she watched her friend slowly sit up.
She wonders if all of them who remember will have nightmares. Maybe.
Xion will sit up herself, pushing to her feet and crossing to Natalie. Her hands, when she reaches out, are uncertain, asking gentle questions as her fingertips brush the backs of Natalie's hands. ]
[She hadn't realized, of course, that Xion was awake. As soon as she hears her voice, she blinks once, twice, and brings a hand over her eyes quickly to wipe away any traces of tears that might remain. Taking a breath, she tilts her head slightly in concern, not pulling away as Xion reaches out to make contact. A small smile is all she can muster, but she manages it just the same.]
[ For a moment Xion doesn't say anything, just considering Natalie in the darkness and the quiet. She and Percy and Jason all act like they're much older than her, and in a literal sense she knows that's true, but in the sense that she's 15, they're all actually very close in age. It makes her wonder over how they try so hard to protect her. It makes her wonder over how she can do the same for them.
Right now, what she chooses to do is sit by Natalie's side and pretty much burrow into her, an almost absurdly affectionate series of gestures in which she snuggles into Natalie's side and reaches out to take one of her hands, interlocking their fingers. ]
I didn't feel like sleeping, [ is the simple answer, one she's given before. ] ... bad dreams?
[Once again, she doesn't move away from the contact, though it's strange. By now, she has had weeks, months, to adjust herself to the level of affection and care that Xion seems to give endlessly and willingly - but in truth, she wonders if she'll ever truly grow accustomed to it. It's a strange and precious thing, and while there might have been a day when she would resist this kind of contact, that day has flown past by now.
She looks at their intertwined fingers and lets out a soft noise of agreement. Bad dreams, indeed. What she says, though, doesn't touch on that question.]
[ Times were it would never have even occurred to Xion to do something like this. The people of that town changed that. Yuna and Milla and Percy and Shinnosuke and ...
...
Xion tilts her head back a little to try and look at Natalie better. ]
Both?
[ A slight shrug. ]
Some nights I don't want to try. It just doesn't feel worth it.
[She sighs out, understanding and concern both present in the noise. To herself, she thinks that she can understand that train of thought, even though she never wanted it for Xion. It's not precisely a surprise she's been affected in that way, but - it's still something that drills at her heart.]
And then she sighs and just kind of leans against Natalie again. ]
Mine are always the same too, you know. I just... [ ........... ] It's always heads, [ she says, with the faintest note of distress. ] Just ... heads. These days it's you and Percy and Jason... sometimes it's Shinnosuke.
[ The way in which she found Riku's head in his room was never a secret, so Natalie can probably figure out what she means. All this is said rather quietly. ]
[That seems like the most important part to address first. Her hand comes up to rest on Xion's head, smoothing her hair down in what she hopes is a comforting motion.]
Of course I'm sure. [ It's soft, but there is conviction in her voice. Xion shuts her eyes as she leans on Natalie, giving the other girl's hand a squeeze. ] Things are still a little hard right now, but ... we've got years to figure things out, don't we?
[ Softly wondering. Years. It's a nearly impossible amount of time for her to comprehend. ]
this should be a simple problem to solve she knows it should she has her powers back she can go anywhere she wANTS
Why should a crowd be so overwhelming?
The feeling of bodies pressing her in, hemming her on all sides, keeping her from moving...
When had that become a fear? Why was it so overwhelming?
She thinks of an empty castle, where you could hear footsteps echo for what felt like hours. She thinks of worlds with no one in them but monsters. She thinks of a town that started out so lively and by the end was so quiet and stained with the memories of blood.
Quiet places. Empty places. All this noise, this confusion, it's--
[She's at home reading a book when she receives the text, and it's nothing out of the ordinary; there's no reason to suspect the turmoil the younger girl is going through. Unseen to anyone, she smiles to herself as she picks her phone up and starts to respond.]
[ From day one of their arrival Xion has liked to explore. Well... maybe not day one, since at the time all she really wanted was to be around Jason and Natalie. But as time wore on she grew bolder. First it was excursions to the roof. Then it was just around the city. She can take care of herself, even if she's got no money and no idea how to use, like, anything. Her powers serve her well enough as long as she's careful. For the most part, it's been fun, and very educational.
[ It takes her a few minutes, but Xion does manage a few somewhat blurry pics of her surroundings. Unfortunately, she seems to be somewhere... up high. Like a roof. ]
[she bites her lip as the pictures all come through, but similar to her last message, there's barely a delay before this one is sent. she moves down the hallway as she types, rushing for the elevator.]
[ A moment, and a picture comes through, clearer this time. Directed at the street, so the storefronts below are visible, as is the nearby intersection. As she said, though, she's too high up for the street signs to be legible. But some of the stores are recognizable. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
What she sees is familiar, until everything shifts. The reality of what she went through distorts. The corpse of a girl whose blood is much too red and vivid changes until the body looks like Jason, like Percy, like Xion. All of these options are vastly worse than when it simply looked like her. She comes to a wall lined with mouths and suddenly there is Will Graham, and the walls have disappeared, there is no exit and she cannot move, she cannot scream, she can only watch as he moves forward and—
When she wakes, she can still see the white of teeth and the silver glint of a knife in the fading light of day. There's no scream, but there's a harsh intake of breath as she looks around, breathing hard and quickly, and tries to convince herself that what she's seeing is reality. Afterwards, she takes a few more shaky breaths, clenches and unclenches her fist to remind herself that her arm is still there, that she remains whole. She shifts until she sits on the edge of the bed, feet dangling off, and rubs at her face.]
no subject
[ Xion wasn't even asleep. Sleep is as hard for her now as it was back in that town, as it was at ... "home," though of course it's worse now in little ways. The nightmares are different. Darker, bloodier, more horrible. There are always heads. Bleeding heads with gaping mouths.
She's been curled up in bed staring at the ceiling, letting her thoughts drift and considering idly trying to sneak out to at least stretch her legs and get a glass of water. In fact, she was just starting to attempt that plan when she heard Natalie's intake of breath, and found her own lungs going still in her chest as she watched her friend slowly sit up.
She wonders if all of them who remember will have nightmares. Maybe.
Xion will sit up herself, pushing to her feet and crossing to Natalie. Her hands, when she reaches out, are uncertain, asking gentle questions as her fingertips brush the backs of Natalie's hands. ]
no subject
What are you doing up, huh?
no subject
Right now, what she chooses to do is sit by Natalie's side and pretty much burrow into her, an almost absurdly affectionate series of gestures in which she snuggles into Natalie's side and reaches out to take one of her hands, interlocking their fingers. ]
I didn't feel like sleeping, [ is the simple answer, one she's given before. ] ... bad dreams?
no subject
She looks at their intertwined fingers and lets out a soft noise of agreement. Bad dreams, indeed. What she says, though, doesn't touch on that question.]
Didn't feel like it, or couldn't?
no subject
...
Xion tilts her head back a little to try and look at Natalie better. ]
Both?
[ A slight shrug. ]
Some nights I don't want to try. It just doesn't feel worth it.
no subject
What happens when you do try?
no subject
Natalie, I'm fine. You're the one that just woke up from a nightmare.
no subject
It wasn't... that bad. You must have had worse ones, if they were enough to stop you from sleeping.
no subject
It woke you up, though. You don't have to talk about it, but...
[ ... she wants to be sure Natalie is really okay. As okay as any of them can be. ]
no subject
...It's just the same one I always have. Not really a surprise at this point.
[A pause, a small quirk of her lips.]
I'll tell you about it if you tell me about yours.
no subject
And then she sighs and just kind of leans against Natalie again. ]
Mine are always the same too, you know. I just... [ ........... ] It's always heads, [ she says, with the faintest note of distress. ] Just ... heads. These days it's you and Percy and Jason... sometimes it's Shinnosuke.
[ The way in which she found Riku's head in his room was never a secret, so Natalie can probably figure out what she means. All this is said rather quietly. ]
no subject
[Not for anything she did, necessarily, but that this happened to her. That it happened to any of them, really.]
Do they do anything, or are they just - there?
no subject
Sometimes there's a lot of them, sometimes it's just one. Sometimes they say things...
[ ... ]
That probably sounds crazy, [ she whispers. ] I know they're just dreams. Some nights I'd rather just not sleep than risk it, though.
no subject
[That seems like the most important part to address first. Her hand comes up to rest on Xion's head, smoothing her hair down in what she hopes is a comforting motion.]
What do they say?
no subject
[ Xion swallows hard, keeping her chin tucked down. ]
Can we not talk about it?
no subject
Yeah. We don't have to, if it's hard.
no subject
Sorry. I-- sorry. Do ... you want to talk about yours?
no subject
[Because, really, it seemed like the most likely way to get Xion to talk about what was troubling her. Still, though...]
You sure you're going to be okay?
no subject
[ With a certain steadiness, a practiced sound like she's told herself these things many times. ]
no subject
...Okay. If you're sure, then I'm glad.
no subject
[ Softly wondering. Years. It's a nearly impossible amount of time for her to comprehend. ]
no subject
[A soft sigh, a smile in return as she gives Xion's hand a squeeze as well.]
no subject
where is she?
this should be a simple problem to solve she knows it should she has her powers back she can go anywhere she wANTS
Why should a crowd be so overwhelming?
The feeling of bodies pressing her in, hemming her on all sides, keeping her from moving...
When had that become a fear? Why was it so overwhelming?
She thinks of an empty castle, where you could hear footsteps echo for what felt like hours. She thinks of worlds with no one in them but monsters. She thinks of a town that started out so lively and by the end was so quiet and stained with the memories of blood.
Quiet places. Empty places. All this noise, this confusion, it's--
It's so much.
Where ... is she? ]
natalie?
no subject
yeah? what's up?
no subject
Until, sometimes, it's something else. ]
i think im lost
no subject
Meanwhile, she gets off the couch, putting the book down hurriedly as she starts out the door.]
take a picture of everything that's around you and send them all to me, okay?
no subject
ok, i'll try
[ It takes her a few minutes, but Xion does manage a few somewhat blurry pics of her surroundings. Unfortunately, she seems to be somewhere... up high. Like a roof. ]
im sorry
no subject
can you see any street signs from up there?
no subject
[ A moment, and a picture comes through, clearer this time. Directed at the street, so the storefronts below are visible, as is the nearby intersection. As she said, though, she's too high up for the street signs to be legible. But some of the stores are recognizable. ]
is that enough?
i feel bad making you come get me
MONTHS LATER!! forgive me
it's enough, and don't feel bad. i'm glad to help.
i'll be there soon, okay? just stay where you are