let our love be a flame not an ember / say it's me that you want to dismember

[covenantal]

Yosuke.

[ Yu whispers his name, an echo of the way he said it in the park that day, when he told Yosuke the truth. He keeps holding Yosuke's wrist with one hand, but his other comes up too, gently gripping that same arm. Yu cradles Yosuke's arm in both hands and holds him close like a man afraid of drowning.

I can't take it when you look at me like that.

It's like a lance through his heart, more keenly felt because all he is right now is feeling.

Yosuke keeps talking, and he digs his nails into Yu's cheek. Yu winces slightly, his lips parting in a silent exhalation of pain, but he doesn't try to lower Yosuke's hand. He keeps it, lets it stay, right where it is. ]

Why do you think I thought about it?

[ He does smile now, but it's a small, canny thing. ]

I knew you'd suffer if I told you. But I'd be a liar if I didn't. Above all I was scared to death you'd reject me. Your best friend who's into guys... gross, right? Does that make you gross, too, Yosuke? If you wanted it.

[ Yu's expression has blanked out again now.

I fucking wanted to.

A thrill is running through him, his pulse trilling in his wrists and his throat. I fucking wanted to. It should gross me out, but it doesn't.

It doesn't. ]

We're both pathetic, [ Yu murmurs with a laugh, something that makes his shoulders jump while he curls his fingers more tightly around Yosuke's arm. ] Who gets this obsessed with their best friend...?

[ He wants.

Yu pulls on Yosuke's arm, tugging his best friend forward while simultaneously leaning in. He gets close, very close, his face inches from Yosuke's, but he doesn't try to connect. Just stares with half-lidded eyes and lets his lips part oh so slightly. ]

Yosuke... I want to kiss you again, even though I shouldn't. Maybe that would prove to you it's not disgusting like you think it is. Maybe then you'd want me.

Comments

[covenantal]

[ Yu would remember they're in public, on a random street, where anyone can see them. Yu would remember that one of the most important things to Yosuke is his image. There's less cause for concern here - he's not the Junes boy now, just Yosuke - but Yu would suspect that old habits die hard.

It's not that Shadow Yu doesn't remember. It's just that he can't stop.

He is the Shadow.

The true self.

And Yu cares about Yosuke more than anything. In a way that, at the moment, means he's positively overloaded with Yosuke's heat and nearness and taste. He might die if he stopped kissing his best friend right now. His emotional short circuiting over this kiss, the slide of their lips, the soft wet sounds their mouths make together, is overriding all else.

Besides. Shadows aren't known for their thoughtfulness and altruism, no matter who they belong to.

So he takes the opportunity offered to him and presses in, his tongue slipping into Yosuke's mouth. It's a little tentative, but no less needy than anything else he does. His mouth tastes like whatever he had for lunch and soda and something that Yu can't name, and he knows it for what it is: a taste entirely unique to Yosuke. The realization makes him lightheaded with desire. Not sexual desire, not really, (not yet). Just an overpowering want for this person, this amazing, wonderful person. It feels like his chest might collapse and implode over the intensity of his need for Yosuke.

Yu lifts one of his hands, letting his fingers touch and stroke Yosuke's neck before they slide into the hair at his nape. Cupping Yosuke's head gives him more leverage, lets him tilt his head at the perfect angle to make this kiss as deep and satisfying as he needs it to be.

It's good. This, what they're doing -- it's a little too good. ]